Actress and writer, Rachel Paulson kicks off The Laughing Lesbian’s Mother’s Day with her coming out story! This cringe worthy experience is one I am sure many people have shared with their mothers or both parents! We laughed… a lot!! Enjoy!
When I was in college, no one knew I was gayai??i??hell, I didn’t even know. Not really. All weird crushes I had on women were squashed for the sake of conforming. I tried to convince my friends that I was straight. But as the years passed, it became obvious that I couldn’t convince anyone, myself included. I’m sorry for all the guys who tried to date me (not that there were THAT many). Despite all attempts, I just wasn’t interested. Not because you weren’t special; simply because you had a chromosome that I didn’t like.
For a brief period, I did the “I’m bi” thing. Although, I do want to side step here and say that despite what some lesbians think, bisexuality is a real thing. I’ll thank a close friend of mine for that one. You know who you are.
It wasn’t until my sophomore year that I realized I just didn’t like men at all. Once the appeal of women became apparent, men were a thing of the past. I told my friends I was gay, but hadnai??i??t worked up to telling my parents. One step at a time, right?
What I did instead, was decided to take my girlfriend along for the trek home. I still wasnai??i??t ready to come out to Mom, so when I called to let her know I was coming for a visit, I said I was bringing my roommate with me. She never would have let my boyfriend stay in the same room with me, so even if she had known I was gay, she would have made us sleep in separate rooms. Roommates live together, after all.
When weai??i??d arrived home, in my Mother’s typical fashion, she decided to go out and pick up some food to make us a lovely dinner. And in typical twenty-year-old fashion, we used this time to have sex. My teenage room didn’t have a lock on the doorai??i??mainly because it was a side room that had been an addition to the house and didn’t come with a lock, but I had always wondered if my Mom did that on purpose. I’ll never know the truth, but needless to say, there was no lock on the door. I bet you can see where this is going.
Anyway, in the throes of passion, we must not have heard her come back, because the sex stopped abruptly. When I looked up, my then girlfriendai??i??s expression was sheer terror. She could see the door behind me, and I obviously wasn’t paying attention because I flirtatiously said, “What’s wrong, why did you stop?” When she sent me a mortified glare, realization finally dawned. Slowly, I turned around, and there she was. My mother, ghostly white, standing in the open doorway, holding a bag of tomatoes. Her jaw practically touched the floor. I didn’t know what to say except, “Hi. Katie doesn’t like tomatoes.” She quietly nodded her head and shut the door. We sat in silence for a while, stunned and embarrassed.
That is how I came out to my mother. I’m sure it would have been a lot less shocking if I had just told her, but hey. At least Katie didn’t get tomatoes in her salad. Just take a moment to think about how awkward that dinner we had together was.
Rachel Paulson is a writer and actress from Eustis, Florida. Ai??Her work has appeared on SheWired.com, Ivillage.com, alloy.com and Lezbeilb.com. She has two short films that she penned called “Kleptos” and ‘”The Chest” One of which just got accepted into Cannes Film Festival. Follower her on twitter @rarapaulson