Question: Gold star lesbian. People take such pride in this term. I am not one but I feel like it's something that I should be, and am ashamed that I am not. Thoughts? Answer: Gold Star Lesbian, let's define what this means before I give you an answer. According to Urban Dictionary, a Gold Star Lesbian is a lesbian that has never slept with a man and categorizes herself as a woman whose preference is women and only sleeps with women.
From Anon: I came out to my family years ago and it wasn't terrible. They accepted me the same. That is until a few months ago I got a girlfriend. It's like all of a sudden it became more of a label and now "real." My family acts weird around her and me. They call us "friends" and are at times disrespectful all while putting on the front of "acceptance." I know this is a huge change for them and I don't want to throw it in their face. But I want to be happy too. What would you do? Help! I'm glad you asked, Anon.....
As a lesbian I have been called a man hater over and over and over. It's becoming a soft spot with me. I don't particularly like men, but that's not due to my sexuality (I don't think). But the stigma of lesbians hating men is something I wasn't aware of until it happened to me. I don't know how to argue my point. I don't know how to stand up for myself. No, I don't like men, I don't find them attractive or appealing or good friends. But I am not a man hater. Help!
Save the tatas. Save the boobies. Save the tits. Save the mother. Save the daughter. Save the life. The month of October is a month for breast cancer awareness, but what does that mean? Do we all walk around wearing pink and slap bracelets with “save the tatas” on our wrists? Does our pink shirt tell the woman who is dying that her children will never forget her? Does our bracelet tell the woman who just had a mastectomy that she is no longer valid? Do our breast cancer campaigns wrap the crying women in pain in our arms and tell her that her breasts do not define her?
What makes a “mean girl”? I've recently been asking myself this question, based on a certain situation in my life that has given me pause. I've taken time to reflect on my own actions in this “mean girl” process and have come to the conclusion that the truth is taken much differently person to person. What may seem like no big deal to one person might tear another person’s world apart. Whether I am being brutally honest with someone or I am hurting them with my words has become a blurred line that I do not necessarily approve of in myself. I have always been a firm believer that the truth is always the right answer. Truth, by definition, means “that in which is in accordance with fact or reality”.
Readers, this topic is very serious and dear to my heart, therefore I will be brutally honest. I hope you take my words for what they are, an opinion, and understand that whether you are in agreement or not, this topic deserves to be spoken about.
Rachel Dolezal has been all over the media circuit lately, because she has decided to take this time to “come out” as bisexual. That’s all fine and dandy but her reasons to do so are complete bullshit. Dolezal has been compared to Caitlyn Jenner by a plethora of people and I am one hundred percent certain this is why she has decided to take this time to come out. Dolezal is trying to divert the media’s attention from her foolish choice to pretend to be black and is, instead, trying to move her controversial media coverage over to her sexuality. By using Caitlyn Jenner to further her coverage, she has become the poster child for masking identity. Is Dolezal straight and white? Is she bisexual and white? Is she purple and asexual? Who knows what her next story will be.
Dolezal has said that she feels a connection with Jenner because she understands Jenner’s feelings of isolation and being misunderstood. Readers, I ask you, it’s a little hard not to be misunderstood with a mask on isn’t it? Dolezal’s sexuality is in no way comparable to Jenner’s transition. Jenner struggled for years to reveal who she truly is, whereas Dolezal has masked who she truly is because she simply wanted to. This, people, is the difference between choice and certainty. I, for one, do not take Dolezal seriously when she all of a sudden decides to come out on National television. Coming out is a hard process, a nervous process, and not something to be taken lightly. By using Jenner, Dolezal has taken a serious matter and made it into a joke. She has taken another person’s story of sadness and ultimate triumph and made a mockery of herself. Ms. Dolezal, you do not relate to Jenner, just as you do not relate to being black. Carefully take the time to asses yourself and take that mask off, maybe you’ll find your own person under all those lies.
Email me with you questions/comments/concerns. I am an open book.
Submitted by Anonymous:
Why is it that all of my friends who support Caitlyn Jenner hate Rachel Dolezal woman? This seems like a double standard to me.
Oh boy, this is a big one Anon!
I’d first like to start off with a disclaimer: I mean to offend no one with my response and have done research in order to sufficiently answer this question, therefore I mean no disrespect and hope this response is taken as an informative piece.
Caitlyn Jenner has spent the majority of her life hidden in a body that did not fit who she was. At birth, gender is decided but not agreed upon. Please understand that coming out of the womb as male or female does not certify gender. Caitlyn Jenner’s outward appearance now fits who she has always been on the inside, a female. This is Caitlyn’s true self. This was not simply a choice but rather a coming out of sorts. Rachel Dolezal is a completely different story. Whereas Caitlyn revealed who she truly is, Rachel Dolezal chose to hide who she truly is. She chose to conceal her true identity for personal gain; Caitlyn Jenner revealed herself because concealing who you really are eventually finds its way into the light – as Rachel has recently learned. Rachel Dolezal pretended to be black because she said that being black is who she feels she truly is. Tell me, Reader, what does being black or white or purple feel like? When does one wake up and decided that the color of their skin is not “who they are”? Whichever race you are born into is the race you are, there is no changing that because you feel like it.
There are many articles circulating on this very topic and one common response is that Caitlyn Jenner did not choose to be female, she was born into that gender category without a minor part – genitals. However, genitals do not define gender. Rachel Dolezal was born Caucasian, to a Caucasian family, and is in no way able to “change race”. Scientifically, there are many genetic characteristics that define one’s race and separate one race from another.
It is insulting to even categorize Caitlyn and Rachel together simply for that fact that one revealed their own truth and another hid behind a lie. Caitlyn is female. Rachel is white – and a liar – simply put.
Email me with your questions at Chrystal@TheLaughingLesbian.com
The person who asked this question wishes to remain anonymous.
I understand why the LGB portion of LGBT is grouped together but I would like to understand why the T is in the same category, as Trans is not a sexual preference.
Well, Reader, I’ve done some research in order to properly answer this question for you. Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual preference is a sexual identity, you are correct, however they are also a minority group, in which Trans men and women are included. From a cultural perspective, each group has fought for their own civil rights as a team, not as a sole category of people. Therefore, LGBT is not exclusively sexual preference, but rather a group of men and women whom share a common goal; to be understood and accepted for exactly who they are. Men and women in the LGBT community fall out of the gender normality category and have experienced difficulty in surviving daily life without ridicule of their person. Sexual preference is just that: preference. A common goal to receive basic human rights for someone who is human and is in no way different because of their sexual preference of gender is what laces L, G, B, and T people together.
I hope this answers your question! Feel free to comment on this response if you feel differently or have anything else to add.
Email me with your questions at Chrystal@TheLaughingLesbian.com